+the one with the fake smile.+`
happiness comes across to me as a blessing. its good to be happy aint it? i mean, wun life be great if everything to do with frowns and sorrows gets eliminated. but on the otherhand, without such sadness, ppl wun learn. life wun be meaningful. being happy all the time gets boring. just like how eating the same food everyday makes u sick.
i've noticed that time is short. or rather, life is short. a day isnt enuff for me. a week doesnt allow me to cover whatever i wanna cover. it doesnt even give me time to accomodate those i wanna accomodate. i've gotta choose btwn friends and things i do. i cant divide my time equally to all. there's just so much to do and so lil to spare.
i hate time. pls make it stop.
tears welled up when i chat with freakingflyer. there's this feeling. sth indescribable. it was nice though. knowing that there's always someone who wun think of how bad you are and stuff liddat. but the fear of not fufilling to whatever that person think of me is always dere. i belittle myself. haha. or rather, i dun deserve such treatment. afterall, i'm only human.
i love growing up. it grants me an experience which beats being a grown up. i learn much more den i do frm whatever i read in fantasies and shortstories. although i put myself on the line, it feels real. genuine. nth fake bout it.
regrets are only memories of mistakes we've made before. i've had many. but i chose to forget em all. i dun like hurting myself in this manner. it stinks, bigtime. but there are some which wun go away. those which leaves a scar even though everythings back to norm. thats the painful part. sth i wld love to avoid.
i have my secrets. many of which ppl dunno. i dun think they needa know. sharing of burdens are great. but i can handle them. despite all the turmoil i feel inside. even if my face gives my mood away i know i'll still be able to get away with it.
afterall, i have my mask. the mask of a brave front. breakdowns are just not my thing.
