+hAvE yOu wOndEred iF iT tURns oUt liDdAt+`
was maths today. harder than the mock exam's. andy was right. hahas. his gonna laugh and be super sarcastic at my marks again. hahs. paper 2 was like shit. lost 12 marks due to my indecision. hahas. fickle-minded today. very indeed. bLahx.
went to eat tomyam wif eln sean, valen and qingdian. hahas. we like loyal fans liddat, every week visit hougang mall's stall at least once. how loyal is that man. had quite abit of fun too. den eln and sean came my hse. watched drumlines! after such a long wait, i finally saw nick cannon and his superb skills man! now i wanna play like him! wishful thinking! but its ultra cooL! =D
after more slack they left. went wif sean to eat my hokkien mee. hahas. we talked and called someone. lalalalas. like bloody hell invading her personal affairs liddat. tt girl is damn direct man! hahas. not very wishy-washy at all wad. den later sean left me cos his parents arrived. den i walked hme alone. though it was dark at and all but it was nice. set me thinking. hahas enjoying night life alot alot nowadays. like being alone and given reflection time. though tmr is chem and i'm suppose to panick.
hMmx. suddenly sth struck me. if i was suppose to be choosing btwn two pple. wad wld i do. hahs. if someone asked me btwn this two whom do i have the most fun wif, wad wld i say. i dun wanna hurt either, but i know deep down inside the answer is clear. hahas. i know i'm suppose to be closer to you, but the fun element aint dere. dere's no tightness no more. i'm sorry. really i am. but i wun dare say it. over my dead body man. it cant be expressed out. no one will understand why. no one will think i'm sane den.
things are done for a reason. be it good or bad, its up to that person to decide. i did things cos i think it was right. for me at least. call me selfish but tell me why too. in wad way was i wrong so i can change, but get ur facts straight first man or i'll shoot it right back to ur arse. and yes i mean it but to no one in particular.
i chose life to be liddat, for me. i suffer under my own decisions and i gotta live wif it. if it hurts, the scar stays and scares me. if it rocks, i'll crave for more. satisfaction sometimes aint enuff, know wad i mean. keeping silent is good. everyone around u will see you only at a surface cos no one will think sths wrong wif you. hahas. i hate probings. i dislike assumptions. but i've learnt tt if the other party wants it liddat, i'll hafta live wif it somehow.
dun mind me.
maybe leaving me outta ur life will help.
it doesnt matter much anyway
i dun help much. i cant help much.
it'll jus be a burden less
an irritant gone.
and yes i'm refering to YOU for this paragraph.
-no hard feelings though, its my bad-
